Just for 5 minutes you can dream that Messi will join your club

With the news that Lionel Messi is parting ways with Barcelona, every football fan can briefly indulge his fantasy that Messi will want to join a wind swept, dour English team. For a fleeting moment you can imagine that he will want to trade sunny Spain for getting kicked up and down your local pitch.

Remarked one fan: 'He could go to PSG or Chelsea but I suspect he'll plump for Gosport. We've got one wooden stand, a spare ball and all the pies he can eat'.

Another said: 'Our pub team can always use someone a bit nippy'. Said one Akela: 'There will always be a place for young Lionel, in our under-9s cub team. But he will have to supply his own woggle'.