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    • TheNewsWalrus
      • Jun 15
      • {{minutes}} min read

    Peter Hitchens to read CBeebies Bedtime Story




    In an attempt to counteract perceived left wing bias at the BBC, the broadcaster today announced the recruitment of several prominent right wing voices to it’s autumn schedule.


    Top of the list is the Mail’s Peter Hitchens, who will delight toddlers everywhere by reading his favourite childhood book, Geoffrey of Monmouth’s ‘Historia Regum Britanniae’ on the CBeebies Bedtime Story show.


    Coventry based mum Sarah Withers was thrilled by the news ‘I’m so excited. My 2 year old loves reading Peter’s Mail on Sunday columns. Ok, when I say ‘reading’ I actually mean dribbling mashed banana over them and occasionally trying to eat the paper but I guess that’s still on a par with your average Mail reader.


    Plus he’s obviously a bit of eye candy for the Mums so what’s not to like’


    Jane Bradshaw, the BBC’s recently appointed Head of Placating Nadine Dorries confirmed the news at a press conference earlier today.


    ‘We’re so thrilled to have Peter on board. We’re sure his brand of Victorian misanthropy will go down a storm with the little ones.


    And there’s more to come. We’ve also got ‘Nick and Tom in Da Bungalow’ where Nick Ferrari and Tom Harwood carry out a series of zany slapstick pranks while laying into the unions, Richard Littlejohn as the new voice of Tinky Winky and we can’t wait to see what Peter Bone does on Big Cook Little Cook’


    Asked to comment on rumours that GB News’ Darren Grimes was the next big name to be recruited, Bradshaw replied. ‘Absolutely not, we do have some standards you know’


    Image: Pixabay/DaModernDaVinci

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    • Wrenfoe
      • May 8
      • {{minutes}} min read

    Child gives bad book review to adult who refuses to do all the voices


    Complained the toddler: ‘This monotone rendition of the 'The Gruffalo', was dreadful. And the reader barely stopped to let me look at the pictures. Being tucked up in bed is one thing, but how can I be expected to read all those big words by myself. And at no point did he pause to check if there were monsters under the bed. Quite frankly, I think I’ll wet the bed in protest. Now, can you please fetch me a glass of water from downstairs?’


    photo https://pixabay.com/users/katerinakucherenko-19907709/

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