Which Wizard of Oz character are you?

Priti wants to be the Wicked Witch of the West. “I like her alliterative name and also her lust for revenge. If anything, they’ve made her too nice”.

Liz thinks she’d be great as Dorothy, though her friends all call her Scarecrow behind her back as she hasn’t yet located her brain.

Several of Priti and Liz’s friends identify with the Tin Man. Indeed, they venerate him for his ability to survive without a heart, like Suella does.

Boris thinks he should be the Wizard, though most of his friends have suggested the Cowardly Lion. Was there a fridge in the film?

And finally – who would play Toto, the loyal dog? If the dog had a drink problem, maybe Nadine?

Image: Comstock Photos | FreeImages

Get rich or die freezing

To make Liz Truss look less like a dummy missing its ventriloquist, Tories are being told to publicly abase themselves, in the spiritual successor to Operation Save Big Dog. Tory Chairman Jake Berry grasped this unpleasant nettle by publicly telling people to freeze to death or magically get a higher paying job.

55 Tufton Street think tank wanker Clementine Carruthers said ‘Only people with well paid jobs deserve to be warm in winter. Those who earn less than £50k – scum as we call them – only have themselves to blame. Bring back TB, I say.'

Oscar Oldroyd works 2 jobs on minimum wages. ‘If only I’d thought of simply earning more money, I too could be cosy. The Tories are right about everything and Liz Truss is the best.’ said Oldroyd, coughing ferociously.

photo: https://pixabay.com/users/ri-138286/

“I bet we don’t look so bad now, do we?” laugh Boris and Rishi

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