Updated: Jun 5
Platty Joobs has rapidly emerged this week as a contender for the most annoying and ridiculous phrase ever, the shortening of words saving no time and immediately rendering the utterer as a complete tool. But what other phrases are totes annoying? Here at NewsBiscuit we have done the heavy lifting for you and curated some of the best for you.
Are you a toddler who has you just learnt to speak and who is still struggling to control your bladder function as well as working out how different words are pieced together? No. Then you have no reason to use this descriptor of a weekend away or a fortnight in the sun. See also 'Chrimbo' and ‘x sleeps till our holiday’.
Used by Americans to try and sex up the description of a piss-weak lager like Coors Light, using this in any context outside of a Harvard frat-party is unforgivable. Period.
A deliberately provocative, flagrant contravention of the ‘every sentence must have a verb in it’ rule we were taught at school. This use of a single word alongside a retweet or share of someone else’s point accentuates just how importantly you feel about what they’ve said whilst simultaneously signalling your laziness to write anything else. Literally, this.
Designed to make the reader think something is transformative, in reality these invariably describe the most mundane adaptations to regular activities, like scraping one extra piece of pasta that’s stuck on the side of a pan or lengthening your stride by 1cm to save yourself 10 seconds on your walk to work.
Your bad what? Your bad attempt at shortening the phrase ‘I’m sorry for my mistaken attempt to bastardise the English language’. Dude, no worries, YOLO.
I’m screaming - yes, we all are too, mate. Like an Edvard Munch painting.