Birmingham sent home as it describes Conservative party as a 'dump'

Cities up and down the country are responding to a tweet sent by Birmingham today when it made disparaging remarks about Conservatives. Bristol tweeted, 'OK, they are utter cnuts, but if they are spending their, sorry, taxpayers' money in your town you should show some restraint until they've maxxed their cards out'. Nottingham tweeted, 'If you think they are uncouth, try hosting a Lib Dem conference - sandals everywhere'.

Liverpool merely mentioned that it had more union flags than any other city and asked if it could use another city's recycling to ease the load. But agreed the Conservatives were utter cnuts.

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photo: https://pixabay.com/users/drnickstafford-7215389/

Russian advance hindered by faulty Sat Nav

Kremlin officials today have outlined that the Special Operations mission in Ukraine has been beleaguered by an over reliance on faulty Sat Nav technology.

Since February 2022 the advance on strategic targets in Ukraine has been halted by fierce Ukrainian opposition and the unnamed Russian Sat Nav of choice taking their troops down several cul de sacs and leaving their forces stranded from essential supply lines and fully disconnected from the rest of the invading forces.

One unnamed Russian soldier said “its really frustrating trying to invade, when the voice of Nigel Havers is trying to give you directions to Sebastopol in South Wales”, he went on and claimed that they have been directed to Severrnside Industrial estate outside Bristol instead of Sieverodonetsk, Dundee instead of the Donbas region and Keighley instead of Kyiv.

Drive Directions Gps - Free photo on Pixabay

#Colston4 still guilty of looking annoying

In light of the BLM protestors being found not guilty of criminal damage of a statue of a criminal, one annoyed slab of gammon declared: ‘They look like scruffy teenagers! Which is outrageous, given they are clearing in their twenties – and wearing jeans. I didn’t die in WW2 just to have hairy ne'er-do-wells escape justice, just by being innocent. They don’t even look like they feel guilty about besmirching the memory of a much beloved slave owner’.

‘Full investigation would only prove if accused was guilty or not’ say MET		An infinity pool is just an over full pool, right?