A hornets' nest in Southampton said to to be home to some 3,000 hornets was just 75cm-wide. " This is an absolute disgrace" said Milly Purviss of the Asian Hornets Society. "It's time the government took action against rogue hornet landlords such as the one that rented out this accommodation."
More pressure is being put on local councils to provide reasonable-sized, cheap accommodation to dangerous insects but there has been a lot of opposition from Reform UK.
Reform's leader, pub bore and professional milkshake dodger, Nigel Farage, has hit out against the provision of housing for hornets, especially the Asian ones. "What about the British stinging insects?" he asked our reporter. "It's one rule for the British insects and another for the foreign, work shy, immigrant hornets! They can't even speak English!"
image from pixabay
Reform UK, the political wing of the EDL, has tried to suggest that racist rioting in a variety of English cities is merely over enthusiastic support for Britain at the Olympics - hence all the Union Jack tattoos and balaclavas.
A spokes-goon shouted 'What better way to support our brave showjumpers, canoeists and divers than to set fire to a police station in Sunderland? Or smash up town centres across England?'
When asked if he would be watching black British athletes like Dina Asher-Smith and Zharnel Hughes the spokes-goon's face began twitching and he became visibily uncomfortable. 'I'm not... it's just... I... you know... I think I might be busy burning down a mosque in Liverpool that day. Someone told me that would be showing my support - as long as I wear a balaclava and don't show my face.'
A spokesman for Nigel Farage's office began fanning himself like a Southern belle, saying 'Well I do declare. Violence is not the answer. Unless it is directed at immigrants, in which case it's what we call "legitimate concerns", by which we mean please burn down a mosque. '
A distinctly Farage-sounding evil laugh, like Vincent Price at the end of Thriller, could be heard in the background.
image from pixabay