Cost of living crisis: Patients prescribed food as part of health trial

Doctors are prescribing food to patients with conditions that get worse as they starve as part of a health trial. The trial achieved such good results it is being expanded to 1,150 homes.

Sheila Blige, who was starving, had her food bills paid for and said the difference was "mind-blowing".

Academics estimate that starvation cost NHS England £860m a year and that 10,000 people die every year due starvation. But that research was completed before the current cost of living crisis took hold. Dr Marty Lipman helped design the pilot programme and feels like this preventative step is a no-brainer for the health service. "If we buy the food people need but can't afford, they can eat at home and stay out of hospital," he said. "That would target support to where it's needed, save money overall and take pressure off the health service." Dr Lipman has further plans to trial a scheme which provides housing for homeless people to see if there are any health benefits that can be gained from this.

photo: https://pixabay.com/users/publicdomainpictures-14/

7 money saving tips from financial guru, Martin Clueless

During this cost-of-living crisis, many are struggling to make ends meet. Here are some hints to help you to save a few pounds:

1. Clear out your food cupboard - you’re bound to find several items you’d forgotten about. Ignore ‘best before’ dates – that’s just a ruse thought up by food manufacturers to get you to waste money. If you find any Pot Noodles or Toast Toppers chuck them in the bin, even if they’re not out of date. Don’t donate them to a food bank – those people have suffered enough.

2. Defrost your freezer, and liberate all those stray peas and bits of carrot that have been embedded in the ice for years. Combine them will all the loose grains of rice from the back of the food cupboard to make a delicious risotto.

3. Don’t throw away that mouldy Cheddar from the back of the fridge - eat it, and pretend it’s Stilton. You won’t notice the taste if you wash it down with that bottle of ouzo you bought back from Greece 20 years ago.

4. Whenever you feel cold, run up and down the stairs 50 times, as fast as you can. You’ll soon be all hot and sweaty, so you won’t need to put the heating on.

5. If you are reckless enough to turn the heating on, take a tip from your Nan – don’t heat the whole house, just heat the living room to 40°C, while the rest of the house is below freezing. The blast of cold air whenever you leave the living room may come as a shock, but the sudden change in temperature will really get your circulation going. You’ll get all the same health benefits as those nutters who go ice swimming, without having to get wet.

6. Scrape the black mould from the bathroom ceiling, and spread it on a cracker. Eat it and pretend it’s Beluga caviar, like what posh people eat. It probably tastes the same.

7. Insects are a good source of protein. If you have a teenage son, there are bound to be loads of dead flies on his bedroom windowsill, which will make a nutritious snack. Try not to wonder why there are so many dead flies in there, or where the horrible smell is coming from. And definitely don’t look under the bed.

Disclaimer: Newsbiscuit is not responsible for any ill effects suffered by readers who are daft enough to follow Martin Clueless’ tips.

Image: Pixabay/QuinceCreative

Retired police dog looking for part-time job to supplement his pension

A fearless police dog who has been pensioned off is concerned that his pension will be insufficient to meet the cost of living and is looking for another job.

The dog, Quantum, told Newsbiscuit that he had been looking forward to taking it easy when he retired, but with fuckwits in charge of the economy in a cost of living crisis, he is worried he will be unable to heat his kennel this winter unless he finds another income stream.

When asked what type of job he was looking for, he said "Well I thought I might try computing. With a name like mine, I ought to be able to blag my way into it. After all, you only need to have Eton on your CV to get on in politics, even if you know sod all about how to run a country."

www.newsbiscuit.com