Scotland shocked to discover it has a cricket team

Scottish sports fans have been surprised to discover they have a cricket team and governing body and then not surprised to learn they are institutionally racist.

Sociologist Francesca Fraser said 'You have to remember that Scottish football is sold on bigotry and bitterness. Even today Celestial Sports might broadcast as many as 4 Old Firm games (and nothing else) per season and all the asociated 17th century sectarianism. Mix in cricket's dash of English Imperialism and this kind of institutional racism is depressingly on brand.'

'Anyway, it's all getting referred to the TV umpire so we can see the racism in slow motion on the big screen. Howzat?'

image from pixabay

Russian war-crimes "investigated by the wrong ICC"

A leading British news organisation has revealed that information about Russian war crimes in Ukraine has erroneously been forwarded to the International Cricket Council.

The initial investigation carried out by the Rules Committee lambasted both sides for the lack of an umpire, poorly marked and maintained wicket and out-field, and the deplorable lapse in approved Test attire. However, they have been highly complimentary about the running between creases and some of the fielding.

In a similar vein, footage of the recent Winter Tour has been handed over to the International Criminal Court for analysis, which has confirmed it to be both "International and Criminal". As a result, certain members of the England squad have been arrested and transferred to Den Haag to stand trial, with the Court also ordering the seizure of MCC assets for promoting such "cruel and barbaric practices".

When approached to comment on this story, a spokesman for the British Box Company tersely replied, "For fuck's sake - not again !" and slammed down the phone.

https://pixabay.com/photos/cricket-stumps-ball-sport-match-724616/

Football asks Cricket: ‘Can we have our racism back?’

With further examples of intuitional abuse in cricket, many football hooligans are distraught to have their thunder has been stolen. Football’s time as a world leader in racist abuse is set to end, complained one yob: ‘The only difference between racism in cricket and other sports, is that cricket racism is held over five days – and nobody really knows the rules’.

Alarm bells should have rung, when Yorkshire cricketers insisted that their cricket whites include a hood. One club executive replied: ‘It’s just not cricket – well, actually yes it is. It’s exactly cricket’.

Football Soccer Ball - Free photo on Pixabay

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