• Home

  • Podcast

  • Captions

  • Writers' Room

  • All News

  • Writer of the Month

  • Shop

  • About

  • More

    Use tab to navigate through the menu items.

    NewsBiscuit

    The UK’s original fake news

    • Tumblr
    • YouTube
    • Spotify
    • LinkedIn
    • Instagram
    • flipboard-3628186-3031006
    • Amazon
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • RSS
    Logo4_edited_edited.png
    • All Posts
    • Front Page
    • News in Brief
    • Headlines
    • Features
    • From the Archive
    • Caption Competition
    • Cartoons
    • Politics
    • Sport/Entertainment
    • Lifestyle
    • Science/Business
    • Local News
    Search
    • stewartbarclay
      • May 16
      • 1 min read

    Starmer had a curry, a pint and a car park straightener



    Durham police have reopened an investigation into Keir Starmer because of a straightforward punch up in a car park rather than Covid regulations according to one eyewitness. Labour intern Jodie Johnstone said 'Keir insisted we follow all the Covid rules of the time in case he had to self-isolate for the hundredth time. Then someone said something about Angela Rayner's legs and he lost it. He shouted "Get my deputy's name out of your mouth" then they went outside and he walked over and slapped the guy.'


    A spokesman for Starmer said 'This [curry, lager and a fight] is some relatable content from Starmzy, perfect for the proletariat. Could more of you vote Labour please. Oh sorry, am I boring you? Do you want some? I said do you fucking want some?'


    Image: imperioame | Pixabay

    • News in Brief
    • •
    • Politics
    135 views0 comments

    Back to Top

    Subscribe for updates

    Thanks for submitting!

    • Home
    • Podcast
    • Captions
    • Writers' Room
    • All News
    • Writer of the Month
    • Shop
    • About
    • flipboard-3628186-3031006
    • RSS
    • Amazon
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Tumblr
    • YouTube
    • Spotify
    • LinkedIn
    • Instagram

    NewsBiscuit on Flipboard

    © 2023 NewsBiscuit