Jesus angry that his chocolate egg much smaller than the box

Rising again on Easter Day, the Lord complained: ‘What the f$ck is this? I don’t mind that the chocolate industry has completely hijacked the festival of my resurrection, but they are completely taking the piss with the ratio of box to egg. I was expecting something the size of my head, instead I’ve got a bigger disappointment than when I got a ‘friends forever’ tattoo with Judas. Imagine if I pulled this $hit with loaves and fishes – ‘Sorry, Galilee, all I’ve got is half a pilchard’.

The Pope goes badass for Easter Sunday