Updated: Nov 28, 2021
Government research into the people who refuse to have a Covid-19 vaccine, wear a mask or wash their hands even after wiping their bum after a sh!t also voted for Brexit. 'We expected the demographic to be, like, 52% to 48%,' said a government spokesperson today, 'but no, it's 100% of the anti-vaxxers who have also voted for Brexit.' More importantly, for government experts, is the fact that unlike the general population which is becoming more remain orientated with each government cock-up, the anti-vaxxers are hardening their position.
'The problem for the government is that they need a core of Brexit supporters to be vocally supportive of them by the next election if they are to stand a chance, but at this rate it's unlikely there will be anyone supporting Brexit apart from maskless anti-vaxxers,' said a researcher today. 'Given that the government is actively demonising anti-vaxxers then it looks like they'll struggle to vote for themselves, let alone get anyone from the general public to vote,' he added.
The government is pressing on with a new phase to tackle the challenge despite allegations of electoral fraud and sleaze. 'We intend to award a contract to run the country for another five or so years,' said a government strategist. 'Of course there won't be a competition or any qualifying questions apart from "would you like a peerage to go with that?" Ermine coats will need to be supplied, as well as face masks. As will at least a £3 million donation, as usual.