A few more snippets from NB archives

1912. Guardian leads with "Rare Endangered Iceberg Feared Damaged After Collision With Ship".

1933. Austrian immigrant overcomes prejudice and bigotry to become Chancellor of Germany.

1936. Edward VIII forced to abdicate in favour of brother after Bank of England accidentally puts George's face on 1,000,000,000 pound notes.

1938. Neville Chamberlain describes meal he shared with Hitler. "Peas in our thyme" remark widely misunderstood.

1939. Berlin branch of WH Smith notes sharp rise in sale of Polish phrasebooks.

1940. French become Surrender Champions of Europe and hold title for four years running.

1945. Führexit.

1945. Surviving residents of Nagasaki reassured to know sudden spike in temperature not due to climate change.

1956. Busload of bewildered Dynorod men stranded in Egypt due to "sewers crisis" mixup.

1960. Unbanning of Lady Chatterley fuels huge rise in demand for rough rural sex. Harold Macmillan tells gamekeepers: "You've never had it so good".

1969. In US, millions burn draft cards to avoid being sent to moon. On landing, Armstrong utters famous words, "It's grim up here but at least it's not Vietnam".

1980. Millions turn out to celebrate election of first Geriatrican-American president.

2001. "Three-point turn" to replace "Dodge the Twin Towers" in test for Saudi pilot licence.

Image: Taylor Flowe (@taypaigey) | Unsplash Photo Community

Journalists struggling to find metaphors for RAAC crisis

Journalists are struggling to find metaphors to sum up the government's appalling handling of the ongoing RAAC crisis.

One leader writer for The Guardian commented, 'There's just nothing to work with, the government is crumbling over this thing, slowly deteriorating and falling apart and we just can't link it to this failing school infrastructure story. They're probably all pissed at another bring a bottle party'

While another reporter observed, 'We are literally racking our brains on coming up with zingers, I mean what do we know about Reinforced Autoclaved Aerated Concrete, we're not engineers who think they're funny.'

A colleague added, 'The Prime Minister has poor support and needs replacing, surely old construction material issues can be combined with that for a catchy one liner. It's so frustrating. '

After several cups of coffee and staring at his blank screen for two hours The Editor finally said: ' I know what about this as our front page? Super-Fragile-Bad-Logistics-Sunak-is-atrocious.'

'Block Guardian on Twitter for constant lies,' says man who lied to you from No. 10 rose garden

A man who sat in the Downing Street rose garden and fork-tongued out a string of whoppers to the nation has declared that The Guardian newspaper must be universally blocked on Twitter for constant lies.

In fairness to Dominic Cummins, his pants didn't visibly combust until later on when the Guardian newspaper exposed his tiny deluge of small fibs of national shame.

And the multitude of other minced porkies he forced out through the Downing Street fabrication engine during his short and bovine excrement pungent time at the ministry of silly squawks. Those roses did come up lovely with all the manure, though.

Therefore his duplicity should be taken as another untruth where he actually means the opposite, and is highly likely to be a ringing endorsement for the high standards of Guardian journalism and its constant strive to provide facts in a world of dominant jerkoff.

Image: Pixabay/PhotoMIX-Company