- deskpilot
- Dec 11, 2025
Covid, flu and colds share many of the same symptoms, so telling them apart can be difficult. Here is our handy guide to what you’ve got:
You need a day off for Christmas shopping – it’s a cold
You need a week off for a break in the sun – it’s flu (unless you’ve already used that excuse, in which case it’s Covid)
You need to get out of drinks with the awful people up the street – it’s a cold (although if you tell them it’s herpes, then you might get out of next year's event as well)
You are Lando Norris – it’s all three, but you won the F1 championship anyway
You are the PM – it’s Covid, and it’s all the fault of the previous Tory government
You are Rachel Reeves – it’s none of these trivial illnesses. It’s probably the Black Death or psittacosis
You are Michael Jackson – it’s monkeypox
You are waiting in A&E – it’s all three, plus a bonus Hospital Acquired Infection
You are an England cricketer – it’s none of the above, unfortunately. Maybe do some more practice?
Image credit: deep dream generator
