One famous Palestinian not very happy about what’s being done on his birthday

Remarked the renowned carpenter's apprentice: 'I was hoping for the usual frankincense and Lynx Africa deodorant set. Instead, I got the IDF kicking in the stable door and shooting the wise men in the head. It’s been a month without clean water – and not a Brussel sprout in sight.'

'Normally the worst thing about having your Birthday at Xmas is that you get half the number of presents. Now the worst thing is that there are no children left alive to act out the Nativity. And I was hoping for a white Christmas and all I got was white phosphorus.'

'Easter always used to depress me, because of you know what, but now they’ve ruined Christmas – even more than Cliff Richard. Everyone wants Peace on Earth... except in Gaza it seems.'

Image: Simone Dinoia (@erraticframe) | Unsplash Photo Community

It was bound to happen. IDF kill three hostages

UK Water demands sewage 'from the river to the sea'

Appropriating the Peace Chant, the water industry plans to pollute with impunity. Said a spokeswoman: 'We've no idea where Palestine is, or what they want, but they've got some great PR on avoiding plumbing.' An irrate Peace Protestor remarked: 'We're calling for end to Israeli tanks, not an end to septic tanks.'

The Metropolitan Police has issued a warning that such a phrase could inflame tensions between Southern Water and their shareholders. Despite this the water industry boasted that their proposed sewage spill will be the size of Gaza - but, despite the bombing, people in Gaza will have better access to clean water.

Said the spokeswoman: 'We shall pollute on the beaches, we shall pollute in the fields and in the streets; we shall never clean up.'

image from pixabay