• Home

  • Captions

  • About

  • All News

  • Writers' Room

  • Writer of the Month

  • Podcast

  • Shop

  • More

    Use tab to navigate through the menu items.

    NewsBiscuit

    The UK’s original fake news

    • Tumblr
    • YouTube
    • Spotify
    • LinkedIn
    • Instagram
    • IconFlip
    • Amazon
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • RSS
    Logo4_edited_edited.png
    • All Posts
    • Front Page
    • News in Brief
    • Headlines
    • Features
    • From the Archive
    • Caption Competition
    • Cartoons
    • Politics
    • Sport/Entertainment
    • Lifestyle
    • Science/Business
    • Local News
    Search
    • Danny Soz
      • Aug 22, 2021
      • 2 min read

    'Desperate for love' London woman had torrid affair with robot vacuum cleaner

    A 47-year-old woman from Whitechapel in East London who had a passionate love tryst with her robot vacuum cleaner has told a local newspaper that she was desperate for love and that the six weeks the two spent together was the most wonderful time of her life.


    Speaking to The East London Gazette, Tracy Dell, a housewife and mother of three, said: "My husband has never been a very loving person throughout our marriage.


    "He's nice enough and doesn't drink or go with other women but he's just so cold emotionally.

    "As the years went by I became more and more desperate for real love.


    "So when I realised I was falling for our robot vacuum cleaner I seized the opportunity with both hands and decided to let my heart rule my head.


    "We would seize stolen moments together at every opportunity when my husband wasn't around.

    "The best times were when he was upstairs asleep and I would creep downstairs and have sex with the appliance in the cupboard under the stairs.


    "It was truly wonderful and seemed like the most natural thing in the world.


    "It ended just a month ago when I was doing the carpets on the hall, stairs and landing and the motor burnt out.

    "I realise I'll never know love like it again but my memories of our time together will never fade no matter what."

    Mrs Dell's husband, Toby 54, told the newspaper: "I suspected something untoward was going on between my missus and that Hoover when I used to hear her in the hall cupboard, moaning and panting, but I just thought she was struggling to get the clips off the dust bag before emptying it into the bin"

    • News in Brief
    • •
    • Lifestyle
    4 views0 comments

    Back to Top

    Subscribe for updates

    Thanks for submitting!

    • Home
    • Captions
    • About
    • All News
    • Writers' Room
    • Writer of the Month
    • Podcast
    • Shop
    • IconFlip
    • RSS
    • Amazon
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Tumblr
    • YouTube
    • Spotify
    • LinkedIn
    • Instagram

    NewsBiscuit on Flipboard

    © 2023 NewsBiscuit