Updated: Dec 7, 2021
A woman has been left deeply depressed after discovering her close friend has successfully complete a marathon.
Emma, 34, was eating biscuits and watching Netflix when the news came in: 'I knew she was planning to run a marathon for charity and I went along with it, donating a tenner and sending motivational messages like 'you got this!' and 'you're going to smash it!' but I didn't for a minute believe she would actually complete it. My stomach dropped through the floor when I saw a picture of her on Facebook, standing on the finishing line, holding her medal. I zoomed in to try and spot her tears of misery but she looked genuinely happy. I was sick to my stomach - which may just have been too many biscuits to be fair.
How dare she do this to me, all I want is to eat junk food and sit on my arse without someone rubbing their sporting success in my face. What a bitch.
I replied to her post with 'Wow that's amazing, I am so proud of you' and lots of thumbs up emojis before having a good cry over how utterly selfish and thoughtless she is'.
Emma has heard another friend of hers is planning to do an Iron Man and has her fingers crossed for a spectacular failure to dig her out of her pit of despair.