Wrenfoe
Harry Sparkes (64) spoke of his frustration: 'I'd had my head in the cooker for 3-4 hours and I'd still only got slightly warm. To add insult to injury, when my wife found me, she just turned me over and administered a light marinade'.
Sadly, it is not the first time Harry has attempted to end his life. He has tried connecting the exhaust pipe from his Tesla, hanging himself with bungee rope and taking an overdose of multivitamins. Said Harry: 'Depressing isn't it? I've even thought about putting a toaster in my bath, but I'm gluten intolerant'.