The end of an era and the end a terrible business model, has come to an end. Marks & Spencer has finally conceded that selling one suit every twenty years is unsustainable, even if you get the customer to buy a matching tie.
The suits are now consigned to the bargain bin of high street folklore; along with buying Betamax tapes from Blockbuster and lead-coated toys from Woolworths. In a recent poll, customers cited the top three reasons for why they might wear a M&S suit were - a funeral, a court appearance and a dare
Their last customer was a Mr. Malcolm Durrant (57), who had purchased a particularly fetching three-piece beige suit, back in 2001. The Head of Sales explained: ‘We’d been holding out for a follow up sale. Therefore, when Mr. Durrant walked back in, twenty years later, we thought we’re back in business. All the staff were whooping and doing high fives. We thought we might even shift a pair of socks. So, imagine our disappointment when he tried to return said suit, ridiculously claiming it had never been worn’,
Commented Mr. Durrant: ‘It hadn’t’.