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    • Steveb
      • Oct 27, 2021
      • 1 min read

    Terrorist organisation not claiming responsibility for any of its attacks on the UK

    Updated: Dec 2, 2021


    An unnamed terrorist group has been operating within the UK for some time, conducting a series of heinous and despicable attacks on the British public. Police and security services are reluctant to name the organisation for fear of further severe recriminations against them.


    It is believed that the current leader of the group spent many years operating in a London-based cell before campaigns of death and destruction were moved up to a national level. The terrorist organisation has an unfathomably large number of members and backers and is very well funded by wealthy donors, many based in Britain.


    The public have been warned that no part of the UK is safe, and that almost every individual and organisation operating in the UK has suffered personal and material losses. It is understood that the terrorist organisation is responsible for the deaths of more than 150,000 people, many in circumstances too sickening to describe.


    If you suspect you have been targeted, it has been suggested that there is nothing you or anyone else can do about it. All of the institutions which would normally seek to investigate these numerous and widespread terrorist crimes and act against them have been deliberately undermined to a point of impotence.


    Anyone with any information has been urged not to come forward, keep their mouth shut, and pretend like it isn't happening.


    photo: https://pixabay.com/users/thedigitalway-3008341/



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    • News in Brief
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    • stewartbarclay
      • Sep 8, 2021
      • 1 min read

    Convicted terrorist takes precaution of being white

    A Nazi sympathiser who has been convicted of possessing bomb-making instructions and a wealth of racist literature has been sentenced to a severe tutting at Leicester Crown Court. In a savage gesture, the judge was seen to wag his finger at the defendant for several seconds, while sucking on his teeth before suggesting that the defendant engaged in some light reading to think about the naughty things he had done.


    Among the suggested classics he may have to read are Dickens, Austen, Hardy and Trollope, who are are all known for including characters of colour and themes of racial reconciliation. One local student said: ‘I have to read Dickens and Austen for my English GCSE. Are you saying I could have got the same punishment for promoting racial hatred and building IEDs?’

    Image: Erich_rg/Pixabay

    • News in Brief
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    • Local News
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    • Deceangli
      • Jul 21, 2021
      • 1 min read

    Passport photos required to show ‘sex face'

    Passport photos are to show the ‘sex face’ from September onwards, rather than the ‘pissed off face’ currently used as standard.

    'The sex face is impossible to forge with current technology', explained a security expert. 'The pissed-off face has been in use for over 20 years and hasn’t kept pace with technological advances. Even the sex face – the most unfakeable of human expressions – will be vulnerable within 5-7 years, after which passports will need to be replaced with increasing frequency as we cycle through the ‘caught on a porn website’ face, the ‘she’s nicer than my wife’ face and the ‘trapped my pubic hair in the zip’ face.

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