The show is over when the fat idiot sings

Government proposes building iceberg and sailing ship straight at it

A Government think tank - The Civitas Alliance for Global Warming Policy Affairs - has proposed spending £150bn building a iceberg in the North Sea then sailing the Queen Elizabeth aircraft carrier at it at full speed towards it.

"This is the kind of thing that will make Britain great again", said David Campbell Bannerman, former MEP who still wonders how Brexit somehow lost him his job.

"Did you know that the Titanic movie made 10 times what the Titanic ship cost to build? So this will be a sure-fire investment; once I work out what £150bn times 10 is, I'll let you know how much we'll get back."

Liz Truss has suggested that full speed towards the iceberg is "a bit slow". 

Photo by Hubert Neufeld on Unsplash

Rejected titles for Liz Truss' book

1. All Trussed up and nowhere to go

2. It Kwasn't me

3. Number 10 and others I can count to

4. Pork Markets: A beginners guide

5. Oops what am I like?

6. I, robot

7. Economy 111

8. I am Frumparella

9. How to achieve the Thousand Yard Stare in five easy stages.

10. Cognitive Dissonance: the Early Years

11. All's well that ends

12. 10 Chapters to Save My Career

13. Never Mind What I Did, What About China eh?

14. Bhodi Liz's Journey To The Occident

15. You Need To Hear From Me Again. Yes You Do.

16. Chief Executive, or Lord High Executioner. Reasons why I didnt bring back Hanging, for financial mismanagement

Contributions from and hat tips to: Lockjaw, Deskpilot, Sirlupus, Rowly