Updated: Jan 10, 2022
Conservative curiosity and jobbing PG Wodehouse character Jacob Rees-Mogg, has signed a deal with John Lewis to promote his own brand of Edwardian clothing, household gadgetry and toys. The new J R-M lines will be on sale in all stores in time for Spring 2022.
He told Naga Munchetty: "It is simply splendid that my goods and wares are to be made available through such a fine retailing establishment as Messrs. John Lewis. Their emporiums are respected and trusted throughout the land, and indeed I, for one, wholeheartedly believe they are a reputable firm whose name remains synonymous with excellent quality and service. Hip-hip-hooray!
'What is more, I have been fortuitous in securing the services of an overseas facility in the far east, who will undertake manufacturing activities for my ranges at wonderfully competitive rates. Thus, protecting my profits, and in so doing, making me a tad wealthier.
The sepulchral parliamentarian further enthused: 'Toppers, cravats, wing-collared shirtings, hooped swimming costumes with straw boaters and copiously-brimmed hats with plumes of ostrich feathers will soon be all the rage; although one sour note has been sounded. The All England Club has banned the wearing of ornate millinery during Wimbledon for fear of causing arguments over restricting views of the on-court action.
'But it's not all about paters and maters, indeed no. Youngsters' smartphones and tablets will soon be naught but distant memories, what with my junior penny-farthing cycles, bagatelle boards, not to mention hoop and stick lines all expected to become firm favourites for the Summer holidays.'