Updated: Jan 10
'It's a complete travesty,' said Ebahgumshire's controversial Director of T'Cricket, Maurice Braithwaite. 'T'England and Wales cricket board won't let us have owt to do with anything ethnic minority related. They've suspended us from screening 1970's popular sitcoms during the tea interval and threatened to confiscate all our cricket bats for the start of next t'season. All our sponsors have buggered off apart from Britain First which I'm led to believe is some sort of keep fit chain.'
A spokesperson for the ECB said that it wasn't the kind of behaviour they'd expect from a first-class county. They fully expected Mr Braithwaite to resign even if it was only for putting a 't' in front of everything.
'Resign? They're bloody bonkers. I'm just about the least racist person I know. I'm playing the part of the black maid in the clubs Gone With T'Wind Christmas panto, and the manager of the Ebahgumshire Balti House chain of restaurants never has a problem with me calling him Gandhi.'
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