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Alex Jones wishes $1bn fine was fake news

The King of Conspiracy Theories has had unexpected reality check – resulting in an actual cheque – having to pay compensation to the Sandy Hook families. Speaking from the set of the moon landings, his spokesman said: ‘Mr. Jones still denies any wrongdoing – it was all the fault of Lee Harvey Oswald, in the pay of Lord Lucan. He doesn’t deny the shootings, he just thinks it was aliens, dressed as Elvis. And it was the fluoride in his Covid vaccination, that made him say all those bad things.

‘Ultimately the Illuminati and Lindbergh baby are behind the whole thing. And if anyone should be paying it should be those guys who faked global warming - if they can afford to blow up the twin towers they can pay for anything.

‘Now, how much is $1bn in tin foil hats?’

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