A spokesman for Nick Fletcher MP has explained that all crime, not only in the UK but throughout the commonwealth is down to having a female Queen.
"Why oh why has this enforced diversity taken hold.", complained Mr Fletcher, "This all dates back to Edward VIII being forced to abdicate just for wanting to marry an American. And for being a little bit Naziish.
"It's time we reversed this tide. If the next is line is a woman, why not find a man who's happy to dress as a queen - I know plenty of chaps in the Conservative party who'd be up for that."