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Ambulance response times now longer than returning Elgin marbles to Greece

An ambulance has taken two hundred and fifteen years to drive from Salford NHS trust to 37 Slurry Drive in Salford. Remarkably this is longer than it has taken the British Museum to think about returning the stolen Elgin marbles to their rightful owners.

The trust CEO, Norman Brimmer, said they were working hard to bring times down so that patients wouldn’t have to wait longer than a century or fifty years in emergency cases of cardiac arrest or getting your head stuck in a bucket.

'Two hundred and fifteen years is rather a long time,' said Mr Brimmer, 'but to put things into perspective, that’s only twenty-five years above national government targets.'

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