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Area lonely man comforted by fact he is tracked by cookies at Christmas

Area man, Alan Roades, 57, facing another lonely Christmas has told us that he is comforted by the fact that leading brands and services are “really looking out for him and his perceived needs”.

“Just a few minutes ago I was invited to come along and see the Coca Cola lorry in Cardiff. A lovely gesture!” Said Mr Roades, “I mean completely impractical, I’m in Peterborough, but it’s a lovely thought. Also, M&M Direct wished me a very Happy Christmas and enquired as to whether I was low of Lonsdale branded boxer shorts. As it happens, I am. So yet again, looking out for me.”

He also went onto to tell us a heartwarming tale of amazon checking daily as to whether he needed a new mattress even though he had bought one 4 months ago. “Clearly they’re worried about my comfort, which is a huge bonus for me, knowing somewhere out there an algorithm has really taken the time to get to know me.”

Of course, like all great friendships, the algorithms don’t always get it right as Mr Roades told us he wasn’t in the market for Anal Beads and Masonic Ritual supplies and has no idea why they popped up in his email inbox!

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