A bank, which cannot be named for legal reasons, has issued a formal complaint that a potential customer is refusing to deposit any money with them. In a statement made to the BBC, the bank claimed that 'He clearly had a problem, for some reason, with us providing banking services to various dodgy overseas customers based in the Cayman Isles, Russia and Belarus, Sicily, Myanmar, North Korea, plus a few Nigerian Princes as well as funding several arms companies making chemical and biological weapons. If he only knew some of our worst clients are in the City of London.'
'Load of bollocks' said Robert Cratchett 'I simply hadn't got enough money to make it worth opening a bank account anywhere. I have offered the bank my resignation.'