With less oversight than a FIFA spa day and more dirty practices than an OnlyFans account, the banking sector is awash with unethical activity. The result has been repeated crashes and more short selling than a cub-scout jumble sale.
As capitalism teeters on the edge of armageddon and the last season of the Walking Dead, bankers play Russian roulette with our savings. Confessed one banker: 'I'm sooo bored. Do you think people would notice if I set everyone's head on fire?'
One bank collapse could trigger a domino effect, where the last legal tender will be Monopoly money. The banker said: 'Trust me, I know what I'm doing. Now excuse me, I need to stick this fork into an electrical socket'.