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Bitcoins to be replaced with Lego

Naturally the interlocking plastic brick has been identified as an ideal replacement, offering both colour, durability and an ever-present threat to bare feet. With around 560 billion parts produced, there should be no problem maintaining cash flow to meet monetary demand. One city analyst explained: ‘Virtual currency is all very well but the public want something they can hold in their hand – or ideally turn into a miniature car with wings…with some guns!’.

Some six-year-olds may be sitting on a fortune, while savers are advised to dismantle their nearest vacuum cleaner. What this will do to the average pay-packet is unsure – but the average wallet will look decidedly lumpy. Meanwhile Scotland has expressed a preference for a currency union involving tartan themed Duplo. ’And who doesn’t want their money on display in the form of a life-size Millennium Falcon?’

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