Taking inspiration from the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical, the outgoing FIFA president has fled over the Swiss mountains dressed as a Bavarian singing troupe. Resplendent in pig tails and lederhosen, Mr Blatter has escaped an oppressive fascist regime in search of eight-part harmonies and no extradition treaty.
Blatter has the innocence of a novice nun, the timeless good looks of Julie Andrews and always insists on dressing young female footballers in tight fitting shorts made from old drapes. He promising to climb every mountain in search of immunity from prosecution. Yet, despite a quick rendition of ‘I Have Confidence’ to the world’s press, in transpires that very few people have confidence in him. It probably did not help his case, that a few of his favourite things included: ‘- brown paper packages tied up with string...containing unmarked bills.’