Dave Bloke, long-standing albeit unofficial football pundit of the Crown and Anchor in Bexleyheath, has announced that he reckons he'd probably do OK in the England women’s football team, 'to help them get through the semis, know what I mean?'.
“Not saying I’d get in the real team,” he added. “Mind you, there was a time I was considered quite a prospect, before I put me back out. Did I ever tell you I ‘ad a trial for Luton Town?
”But the birds’ team? Yeah, I’d do all right there, show ‘em a thing or two. Plus I’d be on hand to explain the offside rule. I’d actually respect ‘em more for asking.”
Asked how he could possibly get into the women’s team, he replied “I’ll just say I’m one o’ them trannies. Self-assessment these days innit, or whatever it’s called.
“Reckon they’d work it out in the showers afterwards though, eh? Eh? Know what I mean? Eh? Nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more…”
When she implausibly heard about this conversation, Lionesses’s manager Sarine Wiegman said she’d consider Mr Bloke for the role of team mascot, but only after the current goat dies.
Image: planet_fox - Pixabay