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Blood transfusion payments will not cover Nosferatu

Although thousands of NHS patients were affected, the Government insisted no undead would get a handout – unless it was Jacob Rees Mogg: ‘There is a big difference between being unknowingly infected, compared to going around London sucking the blood of virgins’. Countered one vampire: ‘Do you know how difficult it is to find a virgin in London?’

Neither will any leeches be compensated, although Keir Starmer said he would still pay their shareholders. There would be no payments for vampires getting cold-sores, dry mouth or bad breath. Commented Dracula: ‘Well, that sucks’.

Image from Pixabay by TheDigitalArtist

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