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Boko Haram pledge allegiance to the SNP‏

While primarily focused on establishing a ‘caliphate’, the group suggested that an independent Scotland, was their first logical step. Having already sworn fealty to the Islamic State, a spokesman said it was a natural progression to embrace tartan burkas, halal shortbread and an unswerving loyalty to the Prophet Salmond: ‘And I’m sure William Wallace would have favoured our manifesto pledge for more beheadings’.

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