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Boris Johnson delivered all his promises just like Hannibal Lecter de-livered all his victims


Prime Minister Johnson has only made two deadly errors in office: everything he has said and everything he has done.' So says an independent report into his sickening schemes which concluded that, 'He had us all. With fava beans and a nice Chianti.'

The report points to many examples of lawbreaking masquerading as lawmaking, including a motion forced through parliament called the Buffalo Bill, which requires all the people of Britain to adhere to the decree, 'It puts the lotion on its skin.' Priti Patel supported the motion by slowly enunciating 'hy--a--lu--ron--ic' in the most patronising manner she could muster.

It is believed that Johnson is attempting to make a suit out of everybody's skin, tuck his 'Little Dog' between his legs, and parade provocatively in front of the Daily Mirror.

Asked why he needed the skin of the entire population, Johnson's most loyal spokesman responded, 'Have you seen the acreage required to cover that immense waste tip of lard?'

image from pixabay

Hat tip to Walter Eagle.

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