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Boris Johnson 'no longer trusted' with sharp objects

UK diplomats have subsequently child-proofed all trade agreements, put treaties out of hands reach and banished Mr. Johnson to the 'naughty step' until the next General Election. This follows on from his time as Foreign Secretary when he was not allowed anything to do with Foreigners.

No longer trusted with the English language, Mr. Johnson will be confined to communicating through a series of gestures, grunting noises and inevitable Bullingdon-style faeces throwing.


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