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Boris wins Oscar nomination for best song & dance routine in Westminster Side Story

Popular Prime Minister, Captain Showbiz himself, Boris Johnson, is up for a well-deserved award at this year's glitzy but utterly meaningless ceremony.

Westminster Side Story is a glorious musical psychodrama about a dysfunctional government that thinks all its problems can be sorted out by drinking itself to death.

'It's possibly his finest role so far, said cinema critic Matt French. 'We've seen Boris as a tram driver, a JCB driver, and a man who will draw bananas with children. He's an incredibly versatile actor, as his performance at PMQ's has proved, and he's barely put a foot wrong since his starring role in 'Lying Actually.'

'I don't think anyone would deny him the accolades his performance so richly deserves. Its a resounding testament to the power of bullshit.'

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