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Boy priest travelling to India thought to be in danger from monkeypox

A boy priest travelling to India to bring back the scriptures to save mankind is being sought by the authorities, who fear he may be in danger of contracting monkeypox. They are also seeking a water monster and a pig spirit thought to be travelling with him.

Symptoms of the disease include a tendency to violence, which only the mythical “headache sutra” can cure, and the ability to cloudfly. Other symptoms include a lack of coordination between speech sounds and mouth movements, a condition experts describe as “very poor dubbing”.

Little is known about the origins of the disease, though some claim it was born from an egg on a mountaintop, produced by a rock which had become magically fertile. Experts describe that as complete nonsense, but still more convincing than the idea that Covid 19 came from Wuhan’s exotic meat market and not the virology lab in the same city.

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