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Brit in shock after colleague gives genuine answer to routine question

A British man was reeling in profound shock today after a work colleague took his routine “How was your Christmas?” to be a genuine question and answered it honestly.

”It was horrible,” said Dave Sparrow of Spratt’s Industrial Chemicals Ltd, nursing the cup of hot, sweet tea concerned colleagues had made for him. “I’d asked the question and practically walked away when I realised he was actually answering it. I was so close to getting away…

”He said Christmas had been a difficult time for him, since his wife had left and taken the kids with her. Which come to think of it he had told me, I just didn’t care enough to remember it.

“I was making frantic signals to colleagues across the room as he told me all about how he’d watched the King’s Christmas Message alone in his dressing gown with the curtains drawn, before eating a microwave turkey dinner for one and pulling a cracker with himself… They told me later they could see there was something wrong, but had no idea what to do. More likely, they were frightened of getting drawn into the conversation themselves.”

Sparrow said he planned to take the long way round to the toilet for the rest of the week to avoid walking past the man’s desk, lest he try to continue the conversation.

”It’s that feeling of being a marked man,” said Sparrow unhappily. “He’s got me down as someone who’s actually interested and sympathetic.

“Doesn’t he understand you’re supposed to say something like ‘It was nice to see the family, but even better when they left’, or just pat your tummy with a laugh and say you ate way too much, when people ask how your Christmas was? You don’t actually answer the question, for God’s sake.”

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