Britain awakes from Jubilee weekend remembering precisely none of it



Millions of Britons are awaking this morning staggered to having missed Jubilee weekend.


Simon Williams posted on Facebook: “Can confirm: I remember going into the Rose and Crown at midday on Thursday to find my mate sweaty Andy who was keeping out of Liz’s way. I probably got a pint at that stage. Then… oh it’s Monday.”


Elsewhere, an anonymous poster confirmed: “The missus has already vetoed alien abduction as a theory, which is probably fair game as no-one else seems to remember unusual flashing lights or anything. But… they don’t remember literally anything at all either, so… I’m suspicious. Fortunately, the sofa to which I’ve been exiled by the wife is comfortable.”


A Government spokesperson noted: “Her Majesty’s Government is delighted the nation has no memory of the last few days. Hopefully this will extend appropriately to not remembering Partygate oh whoops.”


image from pixabay

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