Updated: Jan 6
After decades of prevarication, Britain has agreed to return Edwin Barbles to Greece. Mr. Barbles, a retired postman who lives in Doncaster, is to be handed over to the Greek ambassador in a formal ceremony in Athens later this week. He released the following statement today, through his lawyer, and his packing case:
"I think there has definitely been a mistake. I have never been to Greece. I was a postman. I like Doncaster. Please let me out."
The UK foreign office responded in a press release.
"Finally, we can put this matter to rest. We're pretty sure that Greece has been asking us to send them Edwin Barbles for years now. Naturally, we were reluctant to do so at first, but they insisted, so we're just going to post him. It's definitely him they want and nothing to do with any museums, whatever they are. We could not be more confident that we are doing the right thing."
The UK foreign office responded to their first press release with a second press release:
"Alright, we might have mis-heard, but Edwin Barbles is Greece's problem now, and they can do what they want with him. They can put him on display or tour him around the world."
The UK foreign office responded with a third press release:
"Wait, maybe they said the 'Meghan Markle'? Damn, missed opportunity."