A British family driving through Europe have had to extend their holiday to allow sufficient time to inform every single person they meet that they are not one of the xenophobic anti-European bigots who voted to leave the EU.
John Whitesmith, 43 from Reading said that he had explained to every waiter, hotel receptionist and petrol station attendant that although a majority of British voters may have opted to leave the EU, he certainly wasn't one of them.
'It's been very awkward' said the father of two. 'The man who takes the tolls on the auto-route really didn't seem to want to chat about it at all. He barely made eye-contact - he just took our change and raised the barrier. I felt like I had to make sure he wasn't being offish with me because he thought I might have voted Leave. Then the cars behind started angrily tooting their horns, and I wondered if this was because they saw the GB sticker on our car and felt insulted that we no longer wanted to be part of their political and economic union. But none of them seemed to appreciate me walking along the line to explain to them either...'
The family's journey through Belgium, Holland, France and Germany was originally scheduled for two weeks, but has been extended for another fortnight, to allow time for them to flag down fellow motorists to explain that they were not racists or xenophobes. 'We told them everyone we met that we love Europe and the Europeans, and that we are tolerant and open-minded. I mean obviously we did it all in English. I don't know why some of these bloody dagos can't be bothered to learn the language.'