The population of Canada has increased by over a million in just a year, with many of the new arrivals looking suspiciously like Justin Trudeau on a night out. A government source said many of the new arrivals are from war-torn locations such as Ukraine or Syria, and from countries in chaos such as Iraq, Afghanistan or the United Kingdom post Brexit. 'Mainly the Brexit effect,' suggested a spokesman, 'Brits looking for a country that speaks English, pretends to like the French and isn't likely to engage in national self-harm'.
Asked if the influx is likely to change the national character the spokesman said, 'no, we're still as boring as shit. That's why we still think it's funny to cover our faces in boot polish'.