Nigella’s ‘Experiments with Cock’ to be Aired After 9 O’Clock Watershed.

Winner: Dick Everyman

Runners-Up: "At the new trendy but pricey health food bistro, a bird in the hand was worth only one kale, avocado and mung bean smoothie." (Midfield Diamond); "That Twitter bird's let itself go." (Deskpilot)