Before their blind date, Fiona was sceptical about Darren’s ‘gsoh’ claim; she needn’t have worried.

Winner: Midfield Diamond

Runners-Up: "And just when he found he'd pulled, Alex realized he'd used his last condom to make a silly balloon animal." (Sydalg); "Hip new serial killer brings together Bundy's charm and Gacy's clown costume." (mchuckabagel)