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Channel 4 News operating under the delusion that the Tory leadership car crash is still newsworthy

Provider of information to woke snowflakes, Channel 4 News, still thinks what unfunny clowns do and say in their bids to become Britain's Silliest Prime Minister is actually news. No self-respecting fully paid up Conservative member even acknowledges the existence of Channel 4, never mind watch its news output.

The only known incident where it happened was in 2019 when Gerry SaintJohn-Smythe from Bournemouth accidentally pressed the wrong button on his remote control, later confirming his embarrassing error. He quickly rectified the situation and proceeded to the Boys Giving Blowjobs to Donkeys With Massive Cocks pay per view porn channel (444) he was intending to watch.

C4 News viewer Janine Dale from Tetteridge confirmed, 'No legitimate Channel 4 News viewer can do anything about who becomes leader of the Conservative party and therefore Prime Minister, so every ridiculous thing spouted by the candidates for the purpose of getting on the news has no newsworthy value. The programme is in serious danger of straying into the territory of Tory leadership news fatigue. Just tell us who won when the votes have been counted, and that'll do. We don't need all this incessant voyeurism of the mentally disturbed kowtowing to psychopathic pornography addicts who would rather see the world burn than do anything about their dedication to ignorance.'

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