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Cheeky Italian Red now also a weather warning

Updated: Jul 22, 2023

Italy is currently hotter than a ghost chilli lasagne at a bunga bunga party in the fires of Mount Etna. According to many British newspapers, the extremely high temperatures throughout Italy have ‘blown the bloody doors off’ and forced young attractive women to wear skimpy outfits and temporarily get off their scooters to frolic in a fountain with their equally attractive friends.

One Italian stereotype said 'Mamma mia, we need to make this weather an offer it can’t refuse. It’s a spicy meataballa'. He gestured theatrically at an imaginary referee.

Some in the Vatican have perceived the hellish temperatures as a nudge in the ribs from God, but as a screaming child ran in the opposite direction, a sweaty priest denied this. ‘What has the Catholic Church got to feel guilty about?’

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