Chicken-runners smuggling KFC into Auckland caught licky-fingered

Strict laws regarding access to takeaways in New Zealand have led to organised gangs running illegal KFC hot rods into Auckland. But in a successful police swoop, flutter and cluck, 12 herbs and spices with a street value of not all that much really have been seized.

The Serious Crimes Squad Chief based at Old Zealand Yard said, 'The criminals were highly organised and very clever. They evaded detection by not shipping the food in buckets. But a tip off pointed to illicit activity, and when one of our investigators licked the index finger of that point, we knew we were hot on the trail of something tasty.

'We conducted an operation codenamed Zinger Stinger, which employed the use of highly untrained sniffer cats. We found a lot of dodgy fish in a lot of dodgy bins, and there was a setback when the sniffer squad dispersed and couldn't be rounded up. But eventually we had a breakthrough and were back on the trail. Literally a trail of discarded hot wings bones.

'An officer operating undercover informed us that a particular vehicle he was tracking smelled gorgeous. We put a tail on it - an actual tail, so that we wouldn't lose it in heavy traffic. That vehicle led us straight to the gang leader who we believe was operating under an alias as The Colonel. After removing her white beard, there was no doubt that this was our biggest ever bust. She denied everything of course, but there were too many sauces on her.'

Police are now said to be intensively investigating an unspecified number of fries.

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