China calls for peace talks between Rebel Scum and Darth Vader
A year after several solar systems were destroyed by a Death Star, China has called on freedom fighters to enter into peace talks with the Empire. China has denied using peace talks as a delaying tactic while it builds a clone army.
Rebels are under increasing pressure to negotiate as their supply of weapons run low. Things are so bad that Jedi warriors have taken to greeting each other with the words ‘may the turnip be with you.’
A spokesperson for the UK government said: ‘Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to a bounce in the polls.’