Covid-19 has announced that in the face of the campaign being waged by former Tory Leader and selfish prick, Iain Duncan Smith, encouraging Boris Johnson to drop all safety regulations as of June 21st, it's quitting Britain at midnight on June 20th.
Speaking to reporters, a virus spokesgerm said: 'The game's up for us. And all because of Iain's superior knowledge in global viral pandemics. We could call his bluff and stay around trying to infect you lot after the 21st, but what would the point be? We know when we're beaten.'
'After all, you lot saw off Hitler and won the '66 World Cup, didn't you? So what chance do we stand against the world-famous British spunk? No chance at all. So, all things being equal, we've had a meeting and agreed that it's best we just clear off and infect some foreigners instead.'
