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Covid excited about first day at new school

With the Xmas Hols coming to an end, kids up and down the country are looking forward to exchanging variants of their favourite diseases. Equally, teachers can expect to have their classroom turn into a petri dish and their scheme of work to transform into a diary of hospital appointments.

Although masks will be worn in class, Covid itself will scampering through the air, like a syphillitic Aled Jones. By the end of the first day it will have circulated faster than the rumour that someone in the Sixth Form is pregnant.

Asked if it was ready for the school safety measures, Covid replied: 'Looks like I'm the only one who has done their homework'

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